encourage:

getting up at 6 am by choice: wow what a beautiful sunrise! the house is so peaceful and quiet. i feel really tired but i don’t have to do anything but just sit here and enjoy the morning. what a pleasant feeling

getting up at 6 am because you have to: these covers draped upon my mortal coil have become the dirt above my casket. my corpse refuses to unsettle the earth to rise from its grave. i have been dead for centuries and have no intentions to assimilate once more into the tragic world of the living

kharites:

When heading to the beach this summer, remember that Aphrodite encourages you to love yourself when you’re visiting her sacred birth place. Do not feel ashamed of your body, it mirrors the gods.

juelzsantanabandana:

Me: *passes a blunt to the demon in my house* AHAAA gotcha bitch , that was laced with sage get the fuck out my house

fozzie:

those “sharpest [material] kitchen knife in the world” videos. i click on em . i know whats gonna happen. the youtuber is gonna process the material over and over again then refrigerate it then cut it into a knife shape and sharpen it with finer and finer sandpaper. and the whole time theyre gonna be using those cow-shaped porcelain kitchen vessels. but here i am. for 15 minutes at a time. every time. and at the end when the knife is sharp. my mind will still be blown

citizen-zero:

scarlet00rose:

luminarai:

listen, I’m not the biggest fan of kids but if a child looks at me then you bet I’m gonna smile back at them. kids deserve to experience the world as a kind and safe place to explore okay.

But the world is not kind or safe.

then Fucking do your part to make it that way.

whitmoreindustries:

The next Avengers movie is gonna start like

fuckingrecipes:

DO YOU WANT A FUCKING EASY AND TASTY ASS MEAL TO MAKE FOR ONE OR TWO OR HOWEVER FUCKING MANY YOU HAVE TO COOK FOR? LOOK NO FURTHER!

HERE’S THE FUCKING INGREDIENTS YOU NEED:

• SOME FUCKING PORK LOIN CHOPS (ONE PER PERSON)
• SOME BASIC ASS WHITE OR BROWN INSTANT RICE (ABOUT ¾ CUP PER PERSON)
• CHICKEN BROTH, TO COOK THE BASIC ASS RICE IN AND GIVE IT SOME MORE FUCKING FLAVOR (EQUAL AMOUNTS TO THE RICE YOU’RE MAKING)
• SOME DELICIOUS ASS BBQ SAUCE OF YOUR CHOICE (I USED THE FUCKING AWESOME “SWEET BABY RAYS”)
• WHATEVER FUCKING SEASONINGS YOU ENJOY (I USED BLACK PEPPER, SOME FUCKING ONION FLAKES, LAWRY’S SEASONING SALT, AND THAT AWESOME BITCH MRS. DASH GARLIC & HERB BLEND)
• 1-2 FRESH AS FUCK CHOPPED GARLIC CLOVES
• SOME FUCKING OLIVE OIL
• SHREDDED WHITE SHARP CHEDDAR CHEESE (OPTIONAL, IF YOUR ASS LIKES CHEESE, USE IT!)

HERE’S YOUR FUCKING DIRECTIONS:

CUT THE FUCKING PORK CHOPS INTO BITE-SIZED PIECES AND PUT THOSE LITTLE FUCKERS INTO A SAUTEE PAN. TRASH-TALK THEM UNTIL THEY KNOW HOW HARDCORE THEY ARE!

CHOP UP YOUR FRESH AS FUCK GARLIC AND FALCON PUNCH THAT IN THERE TOO.

I’M MOTHERFUCKING HARDCORE AND I DON’T MEASURE MY OLIVE OIL BUT I’D GUESS I USE ABOUT 2-3 TABLESPOONS. 

ADD WHATEVER FUCKING SEASONINGS YOUR HEART DESIRES. TURN YOUR BURNER ON MED-HIGH HEAT.

MEANWHILE, START PREPARING YOUR BASIC ASS INSTANT RICE ACCORDING TO HOW THE FUCKING PACKAGE TELLS YOU TO.

MAKE SURE YOU USE THE FUCKING CHICKEN BROTH INSTEAD OF WATER. YOU DON’T WANT BLAND ASS RICE. IF YOU WANT SOME FUCKING CHEESE, SHRED THAT NOW TOO. 

STIR YOUR FUCKING PORK PIECES UNTIL THEY’RE COOKED ALL THE WAY THROUGH. IF YOU WERE TOO HARDCORE WITH YOUR OLIVE OIL AND USED TOO GODDAMN MUCH, DRAIN THE  EXCESS, THEN RETURN THEM TO YOUR SAUTEE PAN FOR FURTHER HEAT-TORTURE.

TURN THE FUCKING HEAT DOWN TO MED-LOW SO YOU DON’T BURN THE FUCKERS AND ADD YOUR DELICIOUS ASS BBQ SAUCE. AGAIN, I’M FUCKING HARDCORE AND I DON’T MEASURE, BUT USE ENOUGH TO COVER ALL YOUR PORK PIECES. NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH, UNLESS ALL YOUR DRAGON-CHILDREN START DROWNING IN IT, THEN YOU MIGHT WANT TO CUT BACK. 

LET THE PORK AND BBQ SAUCE GET WELL ACQUAINTED IN YOUR FUCKING SAUTEE PAN FOR ABOUT 5-8 MINUTES. THEY BETTER BE BUTT-BUDDIES BY THE TIME YOU’RE DONE WITH THEM!

IF YOU WANTED CHEESE, ADD IT IN TO YOUR BASIC ASS RICE ONCE IT’S FINISHED DOING IT’S THING. I LIKE TO ADD SOME FUCKING SEASONING TO THE RICE TOO. USUALLY THE MRS. DASH BLEND. THAT BITCH HAS SOME DAMN GOOD SEASONINGS.

YOUR DELICIOUS ASS MEAL IS NOW FINISHED! PUT THE RICE ONTO A BIG ASS PLATE OR INTO A BOWL AND POUR YOUR BBQ MARINATED PORK ALL OVER THAT SHIT.

SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND ENJOY YOUR DELICIOUS FUCKING MEAL!

IF YOU DON’T WANT FUCKING PORK, YOU CAN MAKE THE SAME FUCKING THING WITH CHICKEN OR BEEF!

liryae:

There is literally nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so do not expect yourself to do so.

ouc-h:

i feel like pluto when it stopped being a planet

tipsymaple:

I may not be a perfect person but at least I have never yelled at an employee in a store